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Everything You Need To Be Jackie O. In The Age Of Instagram

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Don't get me wrong: I love liquid lipsticks, rainbow highlighters, and Kylie Jenner, but sometimes, I daydream about a simpler beauty era. A time when Instagram brows didn't exist and 100 layers videos would have elicited shock and horror. That time is the '60s and the beauty icon is Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.

Fashion plate. First lady. Francophile. It's no secret that Jackie is the definition of class. My appreciation for her classic, timeless aesthetic was further fueled by Natalie Portman's portrayal in Jackie — and I decided to discover, and try, all her beauty secrets. That meant giving my mind and face a break from plumped-up lips, strobed cheekbones, and an airbrushed, James Charles-esque complexion.

While most of the products Jackie relied on unfortunately don’t exist today, there are plenty of nearly identical substitutes, and Peter Lamas, her makeup artist in New York after she left the White House, shared the secrets of the coiffed, naturally made-up style icon. Click through the slides ahead for the seven keys to becoming Jackie O.

Go To Hungary For Skin Care

Jackie may have been a big secret smoker, yet her skin still looked flawless. (That's not us recommending you take up smoking, BTW.) The secret? According to Peter Lamas, sourcing beauty products from outside the U.S. was Jackie’s specialty. While her favorite spots were in France and Italy, she and Lamas both loved picking up Hungarian beauty secrets.

Most of her go-to Hungarian products from back in the day are discontinued, but one is still around: Erno Laszlo. Go for the double-cleanse system (Jackie was a fan of what would be the Hydra-Therapy Collection today) and Phormula 3-9 Repair Cream. (Fun fact: So, too, was Marilyn.)

Erno Laszlo Phormula 3-9 Repair Cream, $275, available at Erno Laszlo.

Embrace Essential Oils

Lamas tells us that Jackie was huge on essential oils. Why? She had coarse, thick hair that wasn’t the easiest to straighten. But the former first lady preferred it smooth, slightly curled at the bottom, and blown out. “She always complained [about her hair], so I recommended she use a light amount of oils — in those days, I knew about jojoba oil and lavender oil — but in refined levels,” Lamas explains.

Vitruvi Lavender Essential Oil, $14.90, available at Vitruvi.

Invest Time In Your Hair

We are living in the generation of blowouts on-the-go — and while Drybar certainly doesn’t cost as much as a whole glam squad, it adds up if you're going every two to three days, like Jackie. Instead, opt for a blowout at home with a professional-grade dryer and a round brush. Keep some hot rollers on hand to help with perfecting those curled-under ends.

Drybar Buttercup Blow-dryer, $195, available at Drybar.

Get Bougie With Your Bedding

To maintain your blowout for days, get a silk pillowcase or wrap your hair in an extravagantly expensive scarf. “She would use a silk scarf to sleep and a silk pillowcase,” Lamas tells us. “If you sleep on cotton, it roughs up your hair.”

Night Pillow, $150, available at Night.

Start Contouring Your Eyes

From the tweed skirts to the makeup, Jackie adored Chanel. Lamas explains that her eyes were wide-set, so contouring was key — but he used a unique technique. Instead of shading the outer corners, Lamas would focus the darker shade on the inner corners of her eyes. It would balance out her face and flatter her larger features.

Additionally, white eyeliner was an essential (except when Jackie would do her makeup on her own at home). Lamas would open up her gaze by focusing the pencil on the outer corners.

Chanel Les 4 Ombres Multi-Effect Quadra Eyeshadow, $61, available at Chanel.

Reach For Pinks Instead Of Reds

Lamas tells us that, unsurprisingly, bold colors were not Jackie's thing. She liked to keep her lip color soft and neutral, so she opted for pale pinks and nudes, often from Elizabeth Arden. "She was all about being natural. That’s why she looked so classic and classy. The makeup didn’t make Jackie."

Elizabeth Arden Beauty Color Moisturizing Lipstick, $25, available at Elizabeth Arden.

Swap The Floral Scents For Something Sultry

Spicy, musky, and very expensive, this was only one of Jackie's signature fragrances — and it's intense. For such a reserved woman, it's surprising how woodsy and deep this scent is. Now that's a power move.

Krigler Lovely Patchouli 55 Classic Perfume, $355, available at Krigler.

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Blink & You'll Miss Selena Gomez's Instagram Of The Weeknd

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Who's that mysterious figure in Selena Gomez's Instagram stories? Yeah, we've got no idea whom back of the head the pointy-eared person right in front of her belongs to. But, when you look to the right, you might see a familiar face in the frame.

That's right, Gomez finally Instagrammed (sort 0f) a shot of The Weeknd. That's his face on the screen. So what does this mean? At the very least, it means Gomez was at the Weeknd's concert. It might have been during his show in Amsterdam on Friday night, as Teen Vogue suggests. We know she was there because spies for People reported they saw her in the sound booth during the show. That sighting suggests a closeness with the artist performing. Not just anyone can get into the sound booth.

Photo: @selenagomez.

Gomez seems to be enjoying teasing her followers about their relationship. The pair haven't confirmed or denied that anything is going on between them. But, she shared an Instagram of herself wearing one of his t-shirts this week. Gomez and The Weeknd went to a John Mayer concert together (is that the most unlikely trifecta of our times?) last month. They might have gone on a date night to Dave & Busters, where he had his birthday party. Side note: that was an ironic choice on his part, right? Oh, and there was all that public kissing, caught by the paps, that started the rumor mill.

What are we supposed to make of this Instagram moment? All anyone can say for sure is that Selena Gomez was in Amsterdam and wasn't afraid to make her presence known.

Stay tuned to Gomez's Instagram for further announcements.

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Allison Williams Doesn't Like Her Blonde Hair

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Alison Williams appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and dished about her blonde transformation, her awkward sex scenes on Girls, and her dad, newscaster Brian Williams. The actor is currently making the rounds promotion her new movie, Get Out.

Williams went blonde “for a magazine shoot,” she explained, but the new look is also a part of her “break-up” as she put it from her Girls character, Marnie. “Now it's time to say good-bye,” she said, roughly quoting The Mickey Mouse Club. Williams acknowledges that Marnie wasn't everyone's favorite. (I am firmly in the love-to-hate Marnie club, even though I will miss those cringeworthy Marnie and Desi songs.) But Williams will miss Marnie's messiness.

As for the blonde hair itself, Williams isn’t exactly thrilled. Before Colbert could even ask, she told him that no, she does not have more fun as a blonde. “I had one feeling of hair for 28 years,” she said, referring to her hair’s texture, saying now her hair is much dryer. “I wouldn’t recommend it,” she said.

Colbert, like all of us, wanted details about Marnie's awkwardly awesome sex scenes. “The sex scenes breed a kind of intimacy,” Williams said, but admitted that she and her scene partners would giggle about it to get through it. Pulling back the curtain on how they shoot nude scenes, she told Colbert that she was “basically a never-nude” because she was always wearing something, even if it was a stick-on contraption that often ended up covering more of her scene partner than of her. When Colbert asked about watching Girls with her parents, Williams says that after all they've seen everyone is finished feeling scandalized. We will have to take her word for that one.

Williams talked a little about her famous father, newsman Brian Williams. Colbert remarked that her dad is funnier than some professional comedians. Williams wasn't having it, telling Colbert that her dad isn’t even the funniest one in their family. That position belongs to her brother. He’s like her dad, but a new and improved version. “Because he’s got my mom’s gene pool,” she quipped, making moms everywhere proud.

Watch the full interview below.

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The Hollywood Beauty Treatments A-Listers Swear By Before The Oscars

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Celebrities: They’re not just like us. And there’s no time of year when that fact is more apparent than during awards season (or what everyone outside of LA calls “winter”). Sure, we know a little about the A-list crowd's red carpet prep — there are makeup artists, manicurists, and hairstylists at the ready; so-called “red carpet facials” are a staple. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg, folks. Sure, celebs have to give good face, but in a time when plunging necklines and cutouts are dominating red carpet fashion, it’s also about giving good sideboob, butt, hip, bicep, you name it. And you won't’ believe the treatments that are designed to do just that.

Among them, injections to help cope with aching, stiletto-strapped feet, butt injections to give temporary lift, and virtual reality-led facials to help achieve pre-show Zen. Ahead, L.A.’s cosmetic surgeons and aestheticians to the stars give a glimpse of what prepping for the most scrutinized red carpet appearance is really like. Turns out, picking the dress is the least of it.

One major part of awards season that many of us don’t see is the immense campaigning that nominees do to get those Academy votes. They attend film festivals, meet-and-greets, press junkets, late night talk shows, luncheons, and countless other events that lead up to the ceremonies. It’s tiring work, yet somehow, stars appear perpetually refreshed, alert, and bright-eyed. How?

Enter Exilis, a radiofrequency and ultrasound treatment that can be used on the face to lift, tighten, and plump skin by heating fibroblast cells deep in the dermis, which stimulates collagen production and smoothes wrinkles. Hollywood folks use this treatment to help plump skin around the eyes and minimize tiny wrinkles that appear when smiling for pictures. Unlike with similar microcurrent treatments, monthly maintenance visits aren’t required for longer-lasting results.

Gina Mari, a Beverly Hills-based aesthetician to the stars says clients book a series of four treatments over the few months leading into awards season. At $250 for a roughly 20-minute treatment, it’s not exactly cheap, but it is one of the few that’s completely painless. As the wand moves across the brow bone and down under the eyes, the device delivers a warm sensation akin to sitting by a fire — the perfect respite from the campaign trail.

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer

Some stars who love to throw an over-the-shoulder pose get a little extra help in the butt department from plastic surgeons, too. And no, they’re not exactly getting butt implants.

Beverly Hills-based plastic surgeon and RealSelf Contributor Sheila Nazarian, MD, says Sculptra injections have been the surprising request from some her celebrity clientele this awards season. “Around awards season, stars come in for this treatment to appear fuller and have more optimal proportions in their Oscar gowns,” she says. The injections consist of lactic acid in water, and the plumping results are immediate, but short-lived, as the body reabsorbs the water over three days. But the lactic acid particles, which cause collagen to produce around them, stick around and can help plump over the long-term.

Once maximum results are achieved, they can last for up to five years. The treatments are costly, though: Depending on how many vials are used, costs can fall between $6000-$40,000. (Yes, that’s five zeros.)

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer

From the step-and-repeat shuffle that comes with walking the carpet to dancing at the after parties, we’ve never quite understood how every single actress. out there seems to float along in killer Loubs at these award shows, seemingly pain-free. Are they simply tougher than the rest of us? Maybe. Or they’re getting a little help, thanks to hyaluronic acid injections.

Take the celebs who see Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Gabriel Chiu, MD, as part of their Oscars prep: Instead of injecting the face with dermal filler (ok, maybe in addition to injecting the face with dermal filler), Dr. Chiu injects the balls of the feet with Restylane and Perlane, hyaluronic dermal fillers that create a cushion to help reduce pressure in the toes (caused by uneven weight distribution) and in extended arches when wearing heels. The result? Pain-free posing and partying for up to five months, for a cool $3000 per treatment.

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer

Take a look at the gowns that have dominated the red carpet this season — plunging necklines, sleeveless designs, cutouts, and slits are everywhere. Which is why a simple facial — as in, for the face only — doesn’t exactly cut it.

Beauty brand Elemis worked with The Spa at Beverly Wilshire to develop a “facial” that also tones and tightens whatever parts of the body that certain dress designs will showcase. Dubbed the Elemis Targeted Toning Treatment ($505), it treats the body part of your choice to a wrap of salt, minerals, caffeine, and seaweed to target cellulite and skin tone.

While that’s in action, an aesthetician performs a facial with a clay and algae-rich rubberized mask. We tried the treatment for ourselves and were seriously blown away by how much firmer our upper arms appeared after the fact.

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer

When stars say they suffer through a full-body detox before pulling on skin-tight gowns, they may be referring to a juice cleanse. Or they may be talking about the latest star treatment from celebrity facialist Joanna Vargas, called the Full Body Detox Peel.

The treatment uses full-body microdermabrasion with a diamond-tipped wand to peel, brighten, and even the skin tone from head-to-toe. That's followed by a hot-towel cleanse, a massage that incorporates coconut-steeped compresses, and body cream to finish.

“It really plumps your skin,” Vargas says. “On the red carpet, you’ll be showing backs, arms, décolletages, and cleavage, so you want to feel hydrated and plumped all over, not just the face.”

The $300 treatment is one that’s typically booked a week before a big event in Vargas’s LA skin studio, and counts Julianne Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Jenna Dewan as fans.

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer

Some people engage in deep breathing exercises or take a calming bath to quell pre-presentation jitters. Hollywood’s A-list? They step into the Natura Bissé domed tent that's been pumped full of 99.995% pure air, strap on virtual reality glasses and embark upon a mindful meditation journey, with guided deep breathing exercises, soul-centering prompts, and peaceful visuals (think: clear, blue skies and babbling brooks).

All the while, an aesthetician performs a face-contouring massage (which boosts blood circulation and lymphatic drainage) as part of a facial. We were lucky enough to try the treatment. What feels like a soothing meditation session that gives your psyche a new lease on life also delivers serious hydrating and lifting skin results. A-listers have been stepping into the bubble tent all week ahead of the Oscars, but post-awards show, it will tour 18 US locations, including New York City, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, and Las Vegas. Even better, a virtual reality-equipped treatment inside the bubble can be had for free, with the purchase of any four Natura Bissé products.

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer

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Barack Obama's Neglected LinkedIn Account Is Making Us Sad

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When you get a new job or leave an old one, what's the first thing you do? Do you send a massive blast across all of your feeds? Or give it a minute and see how things play out?

It looks like former President Barack Obama might be taking the latter approach. At least that's how it appears if you check out his Linked in page right now. The Harvard-educated father-of-two still has "President of the United States" listed as his job title. As Lance Ulanoff wrote for Mashable, "Reading his LinkedIn profile is like stepping into a socio-political time-machine, where everything is as it was pre-Jan. 20, 2017 when Donald J. Trump took the oath of office and became our 45th president."

Okay, I get it. Updating his LinkedIn profile isn't the most important thing on Barack Obama's agenda right now. He's got lots of kitesurfing and fine dining to do. After all, it's not like he's wondering whether or not he should spring for the premium upgrade so he can send private messages to recruiters. He's not stressing over what font he should use for his new resume.

He's probably also in an ex-president's secret group on Facebook with Bill Clinton, both George Bushes, and Jimmy Carter where they talk about their Secret Service detail and how hard it is to get a decent latte at a bookstore. At least that's what I'm telling myself to cheer up.

It is possible he could have simply forgotten that he even set up a profile on the professional networking site. In the flurry of moving and trying to figure out if he would rather to get a driver's License in Illinois, DC, or Hawaii it just slipped through the cracks. He's got the gig with the Obama Foundation locked down; we guess he'll get around to letting us know what's next for him when he's ready.

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Foreign Language Film Oscar Nominees Take A Stand Against "Fanaticism & Nationalism"

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The nominees for Best Foreign Language Film at the 2017 Academy Awards are taking a stand. It's unlikely to be the last one we see in the Oscar ceremony this year, but it is the first so far.

In a statement issued by all five nominated directors, they uniformly condemn "the climate of fanaticism and nationalism " in the U.S. and other countries — as this is an American awards show, naturally America is the focus of the statement.

The powerful statement continues, with the directors writing, "The fear generated by dividing us into genders, colors, religions and sexualities as a means to justify violence destroys the things that we depend on – not only as artists but as humans: the diversity of cultures, the chance to be enriched by something seemingly "foreign" and the belief that human encounters can change us for the better. These divisive walls prevent people from experiencing something simple but fundamental: from discovering that we are all not so different."

In searching for what action they could take, the directors considered what film could do and opted to make their political announcement in advance of the Oscars. They note that regardless of who wins in their category, saying, "We believe there is no best country, best gender, best religion or best color. We want this award to stand as a symbol of the unity between nations and the freedom of the arts."

They have pre-emptively dedicated the award to "all the people, artists, journalists and activists who are working to foster unity and understanding, and who uphold freedom of expression and human dignity" as a sign of respect and solidarity.

The statement was signed by Martin Zandvliet, director of Land of Mine representing Denmark; Hannes Holm, director of A Man Called Ove representing Sweden; Asghar Farhadi, director of The Salesman representing Iran; Maren Ade, director of Toni Erdmann representing Germany; and Martin Butler and Bentley Dean, directors of Tanna representing Australia.

Read the statement in full on the L.A. Times.

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Can We Talk About The Fact That Jimmy Kimmel Doesn't Understand How Twitter Works?

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Not surprisingly, Jimmy Kimmel didn't shy away from political jabs during his hosting gig at last night's Oscars. One of his most talked about moments was an expression of faux-concern for Donald Trump's wellbeing over the lack of tweets from the president about the broadcast. His response? To check in with Trump via Twitter during a live segment. But the hilarity of the joke overshadowed the fact that Kimmel seemed a bit confused about how Twitter actually works.

After Trump's Twitter response to Meryl Streep's strongly worded Golden Globes speech, all eyes were on @realDonaldTrump to see what he might have to say during the 89th Academy Awards (despite the fact that press secretary Sean Spicer had reported that Trump would not be watching the show). When there was nothing, Kimmel jumped at the opportunity.

"You know, we're more than two hours into the show and Donald Trump still hasn't tweeted at us once?" Kimmel told the crowd. "And I'm starting to get worried about him."

Kimmel proceeded to send two trolling tweets to Trump, one checking in to see if he was still awake, another mentioning Streep. But here's where things went a little off-script. Kimmel seemed confused about why his tweets at Trump weren't showing up on Trump's account.

"We don't see what's up there, do we?" He said, looking at @realDonaldTrump's profile page on his phone screen. He was concerned that his posts weren't actually going through, and concluded with a swift "we'll figure it out" before moving on to announcing the next presenters.

Kimmel seemed unaware that when you mention someone in a tweet, using @username, the tweet isn't posted to their profile page. It only appears on your own, as Kimmel's tweet did.

Can you imagine what Donald Trump's Twitter page would look like if every single person's mention of him showed up? It might self-destruct from the sheer number of tweets.

Maybe Jimmy Kimmel's team handles his Twitter for him. Or maybe he had a momentary lapse of memory on-stage. Either way, he can celebrate one personal milestone: His first tweet at Trump is now Kimmel's most retweeted tweet of all time. (Although he still has a ways to go if he wants to surpass Ellen Degeneres' memorable Oscars tweet.)

And for those wondering: No, @realDonaldTrump still hasn't weighed in on any of last night's powerful speeches.

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6 Reasons Why You Bleed After Sex

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When you flick on the lights after sex, chances are you do a quick scan of the damage you and your partner left behind. Some clothes, maybe a condom, a few toys, unidentifiable stains, and sometimes blood. "Bleeding after sex is actually not uncommon," says Constance Young, MD, Assistant Professor, Division of Gynecologic Specialty Surgery at Columbia University Medical Center.

There's a whole bunch of reasons why you might have a little blood on the sheets, and it's usually not a huge deal unless it becomes a regular thing. "You should be concerned if you're bleeding after sex every time you have intercourse, and it seems like the bleeding is heavier over time," Dr. Young says. This could be a sign that you have a serious medical condition, including cervical cancer or an STI. "It is always wise to rule out a serious health condition before you assume it's something easy," she says. Make a mental note about how much you're bleeding, even if you just notice it once, so you can figure out if it's actually A Thing.

The only way to figure out why you're bleeding after sex (and eventually stop it) is to go to your gynecologist and get a pap smear, chat about your contraception, and possibly take some other tests, too. "You need to identify what is causing the bleeding before you can look at solutions," Dr. Young says. To give you an idea of the possibilities, here are some of the reasons why you might bleed after sex.

You had rougher-than-usual sex.

Most often, you're bleeding after sex because there's a scrape or abrasion on the wall of your vagina, Dr. Young says. Your cervix can bleed a little, too, if it gets hit it too hard. Poor, vagina.

You have a vaginal infection.

Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and other infections can cause "cervicitis," which is just a fancy term for inflammation in your cervix, says Raquel Dardik, MD, clinical associate professor, Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center. Even though you might not be in horrible pain when you have a vaginal infection, it's usually a good idea to take a break from sex until you're healed.

Your IUD got bonked.

"There are a number of different things that can irritate your cervix and cause bleeding," Dr. Young says. If you have an IUD in place, for example, the string can bother your cervix when you have sex, which causes bleeding, too, Dr. Young says.

Your period is en route.

Periods cause bleeding, have you heard? If you're about to get your period (or it just ended), it's entirely possible that your partner went up in there and got it for you, but again, you won't be able to tell if it's period blood until you see a doctor, Dr. Dardik says.

You need a little lube.

Friction from an un-lubricated condom can cause bleeding, Dr. Young says. Even if you're not using a condom, bleeding can mean you're just not lubricated enough, and you may want to consider a lubricant, she says.

It's a warning sign of something else.

Another huge reason why you should see a doctor if the bleeding becomes regular: It can be a sign of cervical cancer or an STI, Dr. Young says. Bleeding could be a sign that there are abnormal cells in the cervix, or that there are sores inside your vagina from STIs, Dr. Dardik says. "Without a thorough evaluation, one can't tell where the blood is coming from or what the cause is," she says. "See your doctor."

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It's Here! Adidas Originals By Alexander Wang, Part 2

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Good news, folks: Alexander Wang, the master of cool kid clothing, has returned with his highly anticipated second collection for adidas Originals. Having confirmed the follow-up capsule (dubbed the "Flip Pack") last month, the brands have now revealed that the offering will be made up of 14 pieces of unisex clothing (tracksuits, crop tops, shorts) and footwear, and will be available for purchase on March 1 at seven global retailers (Barneys New York, Colette, Antonioli, Storm Copenhagen, Dover Street Market Ginza, Boon the Shop, and Joyce). On March 4, it will hit select adidas Originals and Alexander Wang flagship stores, as well as online.

Wang's first collaboration with Adidas came as a show-stopping surprise at the close of his spring '17 show. The designer's rebellious signature was present throughout: e-mail correspondence between the two brands was printed on the back of jackets and shirts, and the iconic trefoil logo was upturned. The limited-edition collection later went on sale via pop-up trucks, traveling around London and New York.

It makes sense that the two brands have an ongoing creative relationship. adidas Originals, founded in 2001, known for creating some of the freshest and most sought-after pieces — like its Ultra Boost Uncaged sneaker, as well as its partnership with Kanye West — that inspire fans to line up around corners for hours. Wang is a designer who embodies youth culture and insurrection, and who, of course, has an affinity for streetwear that other brands have tried and failed to emulate.

For the first drop, the campaign, photographed by Juergen Teller and styled by Karl Templer, featured Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s son, Rocco, in his modeling debut. This time around, Wang regulars Hanne Gaby Odiele, Binx Walton, and Lexi Boling appear alongside Chris Fernandez and Luke Storey. Shot on New York City rooftops, the models are clad in burgundy, black, and navy tracksuits, shorts, and cropped T-shirts with adidas’ trademark three stripes running across each. Let's just say if we weren't already hyped up about these pieces, these images definitely have us convinced. Click on to see the collection in its entirety.

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Our Favorite Homeland Theories So Far

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Homeland is known for giving its viewers a lot to think about.

Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering if I would have the balls to do what Carrie Mathison does: " Did I miss my calling as an overseas CIA operative?" "(Probably not.)

Other times I contemplate Saul Berenson's eyebrows (so lush, so expressive), and whether Peter Quinn's abs or jawline are better chiseled. (It's a tie.)

But in all seriousness, it's a mighty challenge to predict what the hell is going to happen next on the twisty thriller starring Claire Danes, Mandy Patinkin, and Rupert Friend.

What makes Homeland an especially interesting show to theorize about is its history of deriving key themes and plot-points from the headlines. And this season's focus on domestic counter-terrorism — it's successes and failures — couldn't be more prescient.

Season six of Homeland brings us back to Washington, D.C. and New York City, where 9/11 incited the War on Terror that we're still fighting today — overseas and at home. Zeroing in on the latter front means examining both sides of the same coin: The law enforcement agencies battling homegrown radical terrorists to protect our country, and — in a fascinating move for the show — the resulting desecration of the very civil liberties our country is supposed to hold sacred. Oh, and they still somehow managed to elect a female president.

Homeland premieres on Showtime on January 15. Check back here every Monday, where we'll be adding new theories about the next episode and the season as a whole. Feel free to share your predictions in the comments below!

Dar Sent The Recording To Carrie

We know that a third-party sent the tape, between Conlin and his informant, that would lead to Sekou's release. Who else had more to gain from his release (and staging what looked like a suicide bomb) than Dal? By setting up Sekou, Conlin, and Carrie, Dal could delegitamize President-elect Keane's views on counter-terrorism, make Keane suspicious of Carrie's judgement (for releasing her client), and further his own extreme counter-terrorism agenda without giving it away.

Carrie Will Be Accused Of Murdering Conlin

Carrie and FBI Agent Conlin were just starting to find common ground with each other when she found him dead. While we know that the mysterious neighbor (who also planted the bomb in Sekou's van) did it, that's probably not what it will look like to authorities. Carrie's fingerprints are on the gate, and could be elsewhere. Plus, the outside appearance of the relationship between Carrie and Conlin is that they're enemies.

Astrid Is Here To Protect Quinn

Or kill him. Unclear — the mysterious Astrid seems to be a good, rational person who cares about Quinn, but her loyalties were never black-and-white. Is she here on Dar's behalf, to kill Peter Quinn, who knows too much about his plan? Or is she there to save Quinn? How did she even know where he was? So many questions!

Dar Is The Puppetmaster

The latest episode made clear that Dar is pulling the strings here, at least when it comes to setting up the president-elect. Everything he did in Sunday night’s episode — isolating the president, cutting off her communications, keeping her in the dark — helped render her powerless in the situation. Dar also seemed displeased when he learned that Saul concluded that the Iranians are not in fact cheating on the nuclear deal.

Those facts and the possibility that he arranged Sekou's car bombing make it look like he is trying to discredit Keane (and her foreign policy) before she even takes office.

He's also indicated in the past that he is almost eager to war with Iran, something Keane is keen to avoid. Could this whole scenario be constructed to that end?

Photo: Jo Jo Whilden/Courtesy of Showtime.

Latisha Is A Spy

This one's a little bit out of left field. But sorry, there's something fishy about Frannie's babysitter (and her boyfriend). She's just so nice. It's too simple! And it's classic Homeland to reveal late in the game that somebody's been working for the other side. A babysitter plant inside Carrie's home? Brilliant.

Photo: Jo Jo Whilden/Courtesy of Showtime.

Agent Conlin Is Not Clued In

Conlin is upset, obviously, when it looks like the guy he was forced to let go thanks to Carrie's blackmailing is involved in an incident that looks like a suicide bombing. I think he believes he's in on everything going on as far as the FBI's shady operations, but that there's a lot going on over his head that basically makes him a pawn in the larger plot. He's been set up too.

Photo: Jo Jo Whilden/Courtesy of Showtime.

Quinn Is Going To Endanger Frannie

We won't lie: having the unstable Quinn living in Carrie's garden apartment, in such close proximity to her young daughter, makes us more than a little nervous. Quinn is suffering from PTSD and hallucinations that appear to be a symptom of that and/or withdrawal. So far this season he's acted paranoid (understandably so), volatile, and, at times, violent. He also hasn't lived in a family setting or had to worry about other people's well-being (as opposed to literally just his own survival) for years. The possibility that he could do something that unintentionally puts Carrie or her child in danger seems likely.

Photo: Jo Jo Whilden/Courtesy of Showtime.

Carrie Harbors Guilt That Will Cloud Her Judgement

Carrie has done a lot of terrible things in the name of national security. Particularly hard on her was being responsible for the deaths of young men who weren't fully radicalized (if not innocent). In season 4, she emotionally manipulated terrorist Haqqani's naïve nephew Aayan. Last season, she sent Qasim to die at Bibi's hand right when it seemed like he was open to redemption. Could her guilty conscience cause her to presume that her new client, Sekou Bah, is innocent?

Photo: Jo Jo Whilden/Courtesy of Showtime.

President-elect Keane & Dar Will Form An Alliance

Dar Adal has always been one of the shadiest characters on Homeland. His loyalty seems to lie with whomever is the most powerful at any given time. We've already seen him shut out Saul from a national security meeting, so he has no qualms betraying his oldest friend. And as an intelligence insider, the wily Dar could prove useful to Keane for bringing down the CIA from the inside.

Photo: Jo Jo Whilden/Courtesy of Showtime.

We're going to get some Brody flashbacks.

Now that Carrie is back on American soil, grappling with the at-home consequences of the War on Terror — on heroes like Quinn as well as innocent Muslims — she will likely be reminded of her lost love, another traumatized vet and a man who empathized with the perceived enemy. Plus, she'll be raising Frannie, who's now old enough to ask questions about her dad. Having Brody figure into Carrie's emotional arc this season would be a nice way to bring things full circle.

Otto Is Still In Love With Carrie

Remember that time last season that Otto Düring basically told Carrie he wants to make a life with someone, that someone hopefully being her? The ambitious, smooth-talking billionaire German philanthropist is back in Carrie's life after she rejected him. He apparently dropped by New York to let her know that he's seeing someone, perhaps in an attempt to get her to change her mind because the guy for sure still has feelings for her. Otto also appears to be trying to seduce Carrie with the allure of bigger and better humanitarian work. (Works like a charm, I hear.)

Photo: Jo Jo Whilden/Courtesy of Showtime.

Madam President = Trump's unpredictability + Hillary's secretiveness

Showrunners explained that they "hedged their bets" in creating the controversial new President-elect Elizabeth Keane, played by
House of Cards ' Elizabeth Marvel. While we we don't know much about her character, she doesn't seem like she's out to please anyone — Saul, the CIA, the American people, and certainly not Carrie Mathison. Is she behind the push to target Muslim communities?

It's going to be Carrie vs. Saul again.

At the end of last season, Saul offered Carrie a job at the CIA with full autonomy; she declined. Now, newly Brooklynite Carrie is working at a foundation that gives legal aid to Muslims unfairly targeted by the law, who she sees as another casualty of the War on Terror. No doubt we're going to see the two butt heads over where national security begins to undermine the civil liberty protections of Carrie's clients.

Photo: Jo Jo Whilden/Courtesy of Showtime.

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President-elect Keane's Personal Tragedy Will Blind Her

We've learned that Keane's son died fighting overseas. It's likely that her animosity towards the CIA is rooted in her grief — and anger at the institutions whose faulty intelligence and questionable tactics could have contributed to his death.

Photo: Jo Jo Whilden/Courtesy of Showtime.

Quinn is going to be in a wheelchair.

We're just happy to know Quinn is still alive (after all, last we saw him Carrie was putting his pulse monitor on her own finger, seemingly about to put her comatose colleague out of his misery, per his request in a confessional letter he left her).

But Rupert Friend has said that his character is going to be "unrecognizable" to audiences. Given his near-death experience, we imagine Quinn will be at least partially paralyzed, perhaps with impaired cognitive function, debilitating depression, or, like many vets, an addiction to painkillers.

Photo: Courtesy of Showtime.

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Why Last Night's Oscars Felt Like Redemption

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The Oscars seemed to have been on a mission last night. It was a mission that ironically reflects the goals of many liberal white people and institutions these days, however misguided it may be. The Academy Awards wanted to make sure that no one could call them racist or “so white.” They had to jump over some hurdles to get there: a less-than-perfect host in the form of Jimmy Kimmel, an uncomfortable surprise tour that felt really exploitative, and the biggest mistake in the show's history: #OscarGate. But symbolically bloodied and battered as the Academy may be, it managed to acknowledge people of color and other marginalized groups at the biggest night in Hollywood.

In terms of winners, the show got off to an amazing start. Moonlight star Mahershala Ali became the first Muslim to win an Oscar (and quite possibly the newest dad to do the same, his baby is now only 5 days old). Alessandro Bertolazzi represented for immigrants everywhere when he accepted the award for Best Makeup and Hairstyling in Suicide Squad alongside Giorgio Gregorini and Christopher Allen Nelson. And then female costume designer Colleen Atwood took home a win for dressing the cast of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Viola Davis won her first Oscar, for Best Actress in a Supporting Role. And then there was the epic fiasco that ushered in Moonlight’s win for Best Picture. I’d be lying if I said a Black film taking home the highest honor of the night didn't feel particularly satisfying.

Following a season of unexpected, your-good-isn't-quite-good-enough snubs against people of color, the Oscars felt like a measured dose of redemption. First it was the election that blindsided us with Trump as the victor; then it was the Super Bowl, where the New England Patriots defeated the Falcons from Atlanta — a hub for Black people and culture — in an epic comeback; then it was Beyoncé’s painful Album of the Year loss to Adele at the Grammys, which we should all be able to recognize as the result of racial bias.

The short of it is, people of color have been taking L's in pop culture since November. Our investment in the success of films like Moonlight, Fences, Lion, and Hidden Figures at the Oscars were deeper than the awards. It was us waiting for any kind of validation that our work, culture, and lives matter. For those of us who live for life's petty moments, the theatrics around Best Picture didn’t hurt, either. Hopefully this is only the beginning of an epic clap-back season.

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This Birth Photographer Shamed A Woman For Having A C-Section

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PSA: A birth via c-section still counts as giving birth.

Sure, most of us already know this, but apparently, some still think that giving birth through surgery isn't "real birth." In a post to the Sanctimommy Facebook page, one woman revealed that a photographer she was hoping to hire to document her baby's delivery appears to have dumped her after finding out that she was going to have a c-section.

"A surgery isn't birth, my dear," the photographer told the mom-to-be in a text message. "You aren’t giving birth. You are having surgery to remove your baby from your abdomen. That is not birth no matter how you swing it and I for one don’t want to be there to take pictures of it."

If that wasn't insulting and condescending enough, the kicker comes when the photographer tells this woman that she'll be available if the mom-to-be decides to give "an actual birth" a shot.

"If you decide to give motherhood a go from the get and have an actual birth let me know and we can schedule your session," she wrote. "This motherhood job is hard, if I were you I would think twice about starting such a job by cutting corners so early in the game."

Let's unpack this for a moment.

First of all, the exchange we see begins with the mom-to-be texting, "I didn't 'opt' for anything," indicating that the messages from the photographer that came before this screenshot implied that whoever this is thinks that a c-section is something you "opt" for, or choose.

While that may be true in some cases, there are also many medical reasons for c-sections, or situations in which someone has to have a c-section to reduce life-threatening complications during birth.

Furthermore, having a surgical birth doesn't mean that someone is "cutting corners." For one thing, c-sections involve their own hardships and complications — after all, having someone make an incision and move your organs around in your body is hardly the easy way out.

And even if it were the easy way out, can we really blame mothers for wanting to make things a little easier on themselves when going through labor can already be so incredibly difficult? Either way, there's no reason anyone should feel guilty for having a c-section instead of a natural birth. Given that the CDC estimates that 32% of all births in the U.S. per year are surgical births, it's time we stop shaming women for not giving birth the way we think is best for them.

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The Oscars Left Alexis Arquette Out Of The In Memoriam Segment & People Are Livid

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Last night's Oscar ceremony gave people plenty to talk about. That Moonlight moment? It'll go down in the history books. The candy that rained down on the celebs? We'll forget about that until someone mentions it again next year. But something that's bringing a lot of emotions to the surface is the show's In Memoriam segment.

Last night, there were a few glaring mistakes — one of the producers mentioned is actually still alive. One of the biggest omissions, however, seems to be Alexis Arquette. Many viewers noticed right away that the actor, who died last year from complications related to HIV, was not included among her peers.

"I’m really bummed. For the in memoriam, they left out our sister Alexis, and she was trans. We're living in a time right now where trans kids can't even go to the bathroom in schools and they're diminished in society," Alexis' sister, Patricia Arquette, told Vanity Fair. "It's really unfortunate that the Oscars decided they couldn’t show a trans person who was such an important person in this community. Because — trans kids — it could have meant a lot to them."

Alexis' fans pointed out that she has over 70 film credits to her name, including The Wedding Singer, Pulp Fiction, Of Mice and Men, and Last Exit to Brooklyn. Patricia told Vanity Fair that her sister wasn't only a respected actor, she was an important pillar of the trans community.

The Boyhood star explained that Alexis had “a great career as a male, and came out as a trans woman and lived her life in her truth... Her career was cut short, not by her passing, but by her decision to live her truth and her life as a transgender woman. Despite the fact that there are few parts for trans actors, she refused to play roles that were demeaning or stereotypical. She was a vanguard in the fight for understanding and acceptance for all trans people.”

Alexis wasn't the only star missing from the segment. Viewers noticed that Garry Shandling, Robert Vaughn, and more were also absent from the list.

You Can Pretend It's Spring With Zara's New Arrivals

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Update: This post was originally published on February 1, 2017.

If you visit Zara.com as often as we do, you probably noticed its end-of-the-year sale felt like it was never going to end. Don't get us wrong: We love scoring the retailer's trends at even more of a steal than usual, but when the new year rolled around, we were ready for some new Zara, too.

Finally though, the spring arrivals have started trickling in (alongside a campaign shot by Steven Meisel) — and we have to say, this might be its most fashion-forward collection yet. With embellished shoes, slouchy bags, and a whole lot of sleeve interest, so many pieces look so expensive, you'd be able to fool anyone into thinking they cost more than your rent. The only problem with the offering, of course, is that it's still cold outside — so most of the items will have to have to wait in our closets until the weather catches up. In the meantime, we'll be getting lost in the pages upon pages of new product. Click on for all the Zara newness your heart (and cart) could possible want.

Spring, you can't get here soon enough.

Zara Premium Collection Reconstructed Culottes, $69.90, available at Zara.

Zara Poplin Blouse with Belt, $69.90, available at Zara.

Zara Checked Short Top, $22.90, available at Zara.

Zara Puff Sleeve Top with Maxi Button, $39.90, available at Zara.

Zara Stretch Sneakers, $69.90, available at Zara.

Zara Asymmetric Hem Jacket, $129, available at Zara.

Zara Boyfriend Jeans, $69.90, available at Zara.

Zara Soft Leather Bucket Bag, $139, available at Zara.

Zara Studded Leather Belt, $29.90, available at Zara.

Zara Asymmetrical Print Top, $39.90, available at Zara.

Zara Gingham Check Top, $49.90, available at Zara.

Zara Drawstring Sweatshirt, $49.90, available at Zara.

Zara Fabric Ballerinas, $69.90, available at Zara.

Zara Bodysuit with Tulle Puff Sleeves, $22.90, available at Zara.

Zara Multi Hoop Earrings, $19.90, available at Zara.

Zara Platform Wedges, $69.90, available at Zara.

Zara Leather Lace Up Espadrilles, $69.90, available at Zara.

Zara Top with Full Sleeves, $35.90, available at Zara.

Zara Shiny Sneakers, $49.90, available at Zara.

Zara Puffed Sleeve Shiny Sweater, $29.90, available at Zara.

Zara City Bag with Scarf, $39.90, available at Zara.

Zara High Rise Mom Fit Jeans with Belt, $39.90, available at Zara.

Zara T-shirt with Gathered Sleeves, $25.90, available at Zara.

Zara V-cut Heeled Shoes, $49.90, available at Zara.

Zara Gem Platform Sandals, $69.90, available at Zara.

Zara Midi Dress with Layered Skirt, $49.90, available at Zara.

Zara Laminated Sandals with Fruit Detail, $89.90, available at Zara.

Zara Top with Cords, $39.90, available at Zara.

Zara Metallic Detail Beret, $22.90, available at Zara.

Zara Shirt with Back Tie, $35.90, available at Zara.

Zara Masculine Coat, $129, available at Zara.

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Andrew Garfield Tearing Up As Emma Stone Accepted Her Oscar Is The Sweetest

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If there's such a thing as "ex goals," Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are definitely it.

At last night's Academy Awards, Stone took home the "Best Actress" Oscar for her work in La La Land. And Garfield had the perfect reaction to his ex-girlfriend's victory.

Eagle-eyed fans noticed that as Stone delivered her victory speech, Garfield appeared to be crying.

This isn't the first time that Garfield has gone above and beyond what we'd expect from an ex. At the Golden Globes last month, Garfield gave Stone a standing ovation. The touching moment came when the actress accepted the award for Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy.

They might not be a couple anymore, but Garfield definitely still loves Stone, even if not in a romantic sense. After the Golden Globes, he talked to Vanity Fair about his standing ovation, and it was just as sweet as his teary-eyed moment last night.

"We care about each other so much, and that's a given, that's kind of this unconditional thing," Garfield told Vanity Fair of his relationship with Stone. "There's so much love between us and so much respect... I'm her biggest fan as an artist. So for me, it's been bliss to be able to watch her success and watch her bloom into the actress that she is. And it's also been wonderful to have that kind of support for each other. It’s nothing but a beautiful thing."

A beautiful thing, indeed. While most of us are out blocking our exes on every possible social media platform, Garfield truly does wish only the best for Stone. Is there anything more pure and sweet?

Some fans also speculated that at the Oscars, Stone made eye contact with Garfield after the whole "Best Picture" snafu. In the below clip, it certainly looks like she's having a moment with someone in the audience.

And, naturally, some fans are still hoping the couple will get back together. But either way, it's great to know they'll always support each others' work.

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These One-Star Yelp Reviews Of 5-Star Restaurants Are Too Funny

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Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

There are a number of ways to garner prestige and international acclaim as a restauranteur, but getting three Michelin stars is still one of the most obvious ways to announce you've arrived. The stars are bestowed by the French company Michelin (yes, as in the tire man) and very few restaurants globally ever achieve such status.

Of course, if you get that kind of praise, you've likely heaped up some other accolades along the way, from glowing newspaper write-ups to overwhelmingly positive Yelp ratings. But no praise is universal — even the best restaurants still have haters.

Ahead, ten scathing (and hilarious) burns from diners at ten of the country's most exclusive restaurants. Are they just missing the point, or does the emperor have no clothes? You may just have to get your own table to find out.

French Laundry

"[T]he staff sang "happy birthday" to not one, but two different parties. What is this? TGIFrench Laundry?? I want my $1,200 back.” — Brandon R.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

Alinea

"My entire trip to Chicago was planned around eating at Alinea. For an entire year I have been eagerly awaiting the dining experience of a lifetime....

Unfortunately, it was only memorable as a nightmare. " — Jessica B.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

Saison

"In summary a bunch of cold fish jelly, eggs, liver, bait fish, sea slug, and snail!

... So if you're looking for a place that can make the garbage of the ocean palatable this is the spot[.]" —Dustin R.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

Jean-Georges

"Considering that there are two restaurants here, I'm disappointed that there's only ONE toilet for men and one for women. Epic fail. There's not even multiple urinals for men, it's really just one toilet. It's faster to walk over to the Time Warner building and pee there than wait in line.

For a total of $870 for two, I would have rather taken the Friday red-eye flight to Paris, spent a few hours eating street food, and be back in the city in time for Sunday brunch." — D V.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

Le Bernardin

" On the plus side they gave me a copy of NYC Zagat 2016, so I can find a place where I should have gone instead." — Tyler B.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

Per Se

“When you charge an extra $100 for the veal/lamb shank (I don't remember which one my husband ordered) it shouldn't be the size of a cat shank." — Maggie L.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

The Restaurant At Meadowood

“I thought about whether to give it one or two stars, but considering I would not want to come back here even if I was on a carriage drawn by 100 horses with a swarm of bees chasing me..... ONE!” — Jenny W.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

Benu

“My favorite course was the coffee.” — Nicci G.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

Quince

"Absurdly expensive, tiny portions, embalmed staff. If that's your idea of fun, have at it." — David H.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

Manresa

" I kept swearing that we were being 'punked' and someone was going to pop out [and] say, '[G]otcha!' We were just ceremonially presented with a large bill." —Ann A.

Illustrated by Ivy Liu.

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From Meryl Streep To Ryan Gosling, We Ranked The Best Reactions To The Oscars Flub

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The Oscars started out with a cheerful song and dance number by everyone's favorite former boy band member, Justin Timberlake, and ended with a twist straight out of an M. Night Shyamalan movie.  For those that didn't stay up late enough to see the greatest and most confusing moment in the history of the Academy Awards, veteran actors Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty were handed the wrong envelope when announcing Best Picture. As a result, the cast and team for La La Land hopped up onstage, thinking they had won the ultimate prize. But really, a perfect little $1.5 million dollar film Moonlight was the actual winner. What follower was complete and utter chaos — warranted and welcome chaos as Moonlight no doubt deserved the historic win, but chaos nonetheless.

The only way to fully appreciate the wave of perplexity that washed over the audience and those on stage is to study the pictures taken during the exact revelation that the wrong movie had been read. The expressions of the A-list attendees ranged from bewilderment, to gratitude, to just "huh?" For one long moment, the Dolby Theater gave us the most unfiltered look at our favorite actors as immortalized by photos of their hilarious facial expressions. Since this is an awards show, what better way to look at the candid reactions then to rank the calmest to the wildest reactions during the Oscar gaffe.

#6 — Jordan Horowitz, Warren Beatty and Jimmy Kimmel

I'm tempted to call this one "The Three Stooges," but I can't because Horowitz, the producer for La La Land, was impressive with his calm demeanor while handing off the Oscar for Best Picture to the real winners, Moonlight. Meanwhile, Kimmel is licking his middle finger (Is he shading the crew by subtly throwing the bird?), and Beatty is freaking out internally because he just, along with Dunaway, royally screwed up the final segment of an otherwise smooth award show.

Photo Credit: MARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images.

#5 — Charlize Theron, David Oyelowo

While that was happening on-stage, the crowd was slowly starting to realize that this wasn't a shtick or a badly-formed joke. This was a real, authentic mistake in a moment that the New York Times accurately describes as bewildering. Theron literally gasped, while her neighbors just fell into blank stares. On the right side of the frame is Oyelowo, who gave side-eye in the direction of the La La Land cast.

#4 — Meryl Streep, Ben Affleck, Dwayne Johnson, Salma Hayek, Michelle Williams, Busy Philipps, Matt Damon

There's a lot to unpack here. Streep is purely stunned. Affleck is looking over at Damon, whose mouth is agape. Williams and Philipps have the exact same expression. And Johnson and Hayek look utterly distressed.

#3 — Trevante Rhodes, Mahershala Ali, Adele Romanski, Barry Jenkins

The cast of Moonlight stood at the edge of the stage while Horowitz gestured for them to come up and rightly claim their prize. Their priceless reactions reveal just how meaningful this win is to the cast.

#2 — Ryan Gosling

Gosling knew it was best to just to stand in the shadows and give his fellow nominees and winners their well-earned moment in the spotlight. That smirk is so him.

Photo Credit: Kevin Winter / Staff.

#1 — Jharrel Jerome

But the hands down best reaction was from Moonlight star Jharrel Jerome. His ecstatic outburst is the most genuine one we've seen in awhile. You can practically hear him freaking out just by looking at the photo.

Photo Credit: Christopher Polk / Staff.

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How To Recover Your Arousal After A Rough Patch

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Going through a rough patch with your partner can be a debilitating emotional experience — prolonged fighting and bitterness can make you feel more like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh than a functioning adult. And while rough patches can affect all areas of your life, they can be a total sex drive killer. Angry sex can sometimes be hot, but who wants to make love to someone they're pissed at for throwing a temper tantrum over the recycling?

"Not only can fights and overall stress affect arousal, but it can kill the connection and intimacy in a relationship altogether," says Kailen Rosenberg, a certified love, life, and relationship coach, as well as matchmaker and founder of The Lodge Social Club. "If experienced too often, [fighting] can destroy the true relationship and any opportunity for emotional trust for good."

Let's be clear: In long-term relationships, fights and rough patches are normal. Taking two complicated humans and trying to fit them together to form a relationship puzzle is one of the most difficult tasks on the planet, and any rom-com depictions of perfection are bullshit. However, constant bickering over small things — like clashing schedules, how to celebrate a holiday, or household chores — on a regular basis can be bad for your relationship. "When two people bicker, just the term alone shows the anxiety and the competitive need to be 'right,' which is problematic and dulling to anyone's sex life," Rosenberg says.

(Of course, these types of fights alone don't constitute emotional abuse, but you can take a look at the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence's one-sheet overview if you think you might be experiencing any of the warning signs.)

The good news is, if it's just a rough patch, there are ways to push past the conflict and get back to a loving relationship. Ahead, we spoke to experts to get tips on how to regain intimacy and boost arousal after a rough patch.

While we're arguably more in control of and confident about our sexuality than ever, there's still so much we don't know about female arousal. So this month, we're exploring everything you want and need to know about how women get turned on now. Check out more here.

Taking space can help reignite arousal.

According to Rosenberg, if you need to take a breather from talking things out, feel free. If you're the type who wants to make everything okay right away and can't stand distance, but your partner is asking for space, the best thing to do is give it to them.

When it comes to having sex, you or your partner might need some time to recover from a fight or a period of fighting before having sex again, and that must be respected. "There should never be any physical or sexual engagement if both partners are not on the same page," Rosenberg says. "Emotionally respecting each other's space and where they are at is key."

She adds: "Anything opposite of that would be considered a form of emotional abuse."

That said, while it's okay to take some space, try to limit the time you keep your partner at an emotional distance to days, rather than weeks, says Barbara Greenberg, PhD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in family and relationship issues. You and your partner have to talk about your relationship eventually, but taking some initial space can help you regain your arousal.

"After giving yourself time time to destress, you could begin missing your partner," Rosenberg says. "It is at this stage that you both have the ability to be there and 'show up' at the same time for one another; it is in this space that great intimacy and great sex is available to happen."

Do something nice for your partner — (even if it's small) to help regain desire.

Perhaps you or your partner have been working such long hours that you haven't seen each other for an extended period of time in weeks or months, and the distance and bitterness finally leads to an explosive fight. During the aforementioned cooling off period, Dr. Greenberg suggests engaging in what psychologists call "opposite action." Instead of taking out your anger on one another or crawling into your shell like a turtle and totally shutting down, perform an act of kindness for your partner — even if it's as simple as bringing them a cup of coffee in the morning.

Not only will this help you begin to like one another again, it will set the stage for productive communication, which is part of the healing process. Rosenberg says that small acts of kindness can help you both let your guards down and rediscover your "desire to get down and dirty and have fun."

Talk about what was good about your relationship before the rough patch started.

After a difficult period in a relationship, it can become easy to get stuck in the dreary moment and forget why you got together — and why you were attracted to one another — in the first place.

"Before anyone can focus on a great sex life, or a way to reestablish any form of true sexual arousal, all underlining issues that create stress and conflict must be dealt with and set on a path to healing," Rosenberg says.

Meaning: You have to make 100% sure you've talked everything out. In addition to discussing the problems you're having, Rosenberg suggests mentally going back in time to when you first got together, "when each of you felt the most connection, arousal, and play." Talking about such intimate moments can help you both see each other for the people you fell in love with, rather than the source of stress and fighting. Not only can that help heal your relationship, it can reignite desire.

Remember that forgiveness is sexy.

Forgiveness isn't a natural occurrence — it's an action that requires a decision, Rosenberg says.

According to Greenberg, you need to first decide whether or not the source of the rough patch is a deal breaker, or if you'd rather let it go for the sake of the relationship."We all make mistakes and push buttons," Dr. Greenberg says. "Forgiveness makes life so much more pleasant and allows you to feel those good and juicy emotions again. Live by the mantra 'let it go,' as long as it doesn't involve violence [or other forms of abuse]."

Hanging on to negative emotions once things are supposed to be resolved can stifle your relationship in and out of the bedroom — it's those so-called "juicy emotions" that allow you and your partner to bond and learn from the experience, Rosenberg says, which can definitely boost your sex life.

While having sex right after a fight can be tempting, a quick warning on make-up sex: It's not a Band-Aid. In fact, skipping the steps that involve communication and forgiveness and diving straight into bed with one another after a fight could create a vicious cycle of shoving serious issues below the surface (that will emerge big time later).

Try something sexually spontaneous.

Once you're on good terms again, Rosenberg suggests adding spice to your typical sex routine to get arousal back on track. "Once you and your partner have had the chance to show up in your relationship with emotional intelligence, a newfound awareness, and some healing has happened, this is a great time to do something a little spontaneous that is sure to lead you to a healthy sexual routine," she says.

Need ideas? Try erotic massage, switching up your usual sex positions, or role-playing.

Skip quickies in lieu of longer, more sensual sex.

Once you've recovered from a rough patch, make sex a priority by blocking off time for a longer-than-usual sex session. Taking the time to plan an at-home date night is a great way to get your sex life on track. Rosenberg recommends launching into a new intimacy routine by setting up a warm bubble bath with aromatic scents, mood music, candles, and a bottle of your partner's favorite wine. (And if that's not your thing, here are more ways to make sex more of a drawn-out event.)

If you've done all of the emotional work, know that sex itself can help you regain arousal.

You should of course never do anything you don't want to do when it comes to sex, but if you want to want to have sex with your partner again, you might benefit from simply giving it a try (and again, stopping at any point if you're uncomfortable or not into it). Start slow and keep checking in with your partner about how you're both feeling.

"There is tremendous power in touch and physically intimacy," Dr. Greenberg says. The brain releases oxytocin during sex, producing feelings of intimacy, which could help you rebuild lost connection during a rough patch."

That said, Dr. Greenberg adds that oxytocin isn't a "fix-all miracle chemical" — it works with other neurotransmitters (like dopamine) to help you bond with your partner, and you have to put in work along with your neurotransmitters.

"That means continued communication, acts of kindness, and yes, making sweet consensual love with your partner to help prevent future fights," she says.

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The Secret Message In This Video About Ketchup Is SO Powerful

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Do you like ketchup better than BBQ sauce? That's no big deal, according to a video recently posted on Facebook.

The video isn't really about ketchup, of course, but uses condiments to make a point about sexuality.

It opens on a family birthday party in a backyard, much like birthday parties many of us have growing up. The family sits around a table wearing paper hats and eating a meal that had most likely just been made on the grill seen in the background. A bottle of BBQ sauce gets passed around from person to person, each drowning their meat and fries in the sauce. When the bottle is offered to the son of the family, he instead stands up and looks nervously at his parents.

"Mum, uh, dad," he starts. "I like tomato sauce." There's some nervous laughter indicating that the family doesn't really believe him, then he says again, "No, dad, I'm a tomato sauce man. Always have been."

The video was posted by organizers of the Sydney Gay And Lesbian Mardi Gras, which is something like the Australian version of America's pride parades, and is a not-so-subtle message that coming out really shouldn't be such a big deal.

The video ends happily, with the father coming out of the house after having taken a moment to process his feelings, and giving his son a big hug and kiss. "We have a party to get started," he says and sits back down. His son and who we assume to be his husband, based on the rings they're both wearing, give each other a quick kiss for getting through the "coming out."

"A simple difference shouldn't be such a big deal," the video reads as the family continues eating.

It's true: It shouldn't be such a big deal. We wish coming out was as easy as telling someone you like ketchup better than BBQ sauce, but it unfortunately isn't. For many LGBTQ people, coming out is stressful — even if your family is likely to be accepting — and for some it is downright dangerous.

Still, we'll keep fingers crossed for a day when telling someone you're queer is as simple as telling them to pass the ketchup.

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In Her Closet

You'll Never Guess The Real Star Of Big Little Lies

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Elementary school recess wars (between mothers). Fundraiser murder mysteries. Long shots of suspension bridges over the Pacific.

While these are all important elements of HBO’s new drama Big Little Lies, based off the hit book series of the same name by Australian writer Liane Moriarty, they’re not the stars of the show.

Neither is Reese Witherspoon’s high-strung mom, Madeline Martha Mackenzie, who’s worried about her impending identity loss when she’s no longer a full-time mom, just high-strung. Nor is Nicole Kidman’s Celeste Wright, whose main personality trait seems to be “beautiful.” Nor Laura Dern’s Renata Klein, who manages to fit in playground arguments between her tech company's board meetings.

No: The main stars of HBO’s Big Little Lies are the houses, which are just unfair, plain and simple. Filmed in Monterey, California, the beachside mansions of Big Little Lies are enviable coastal gems.

In the laws of the universe, either you get skyscraper-sized windows or a beachfront view. You get a kitchen island the size of New Zealand or you get views of the California sunset. Well, the women of Big Little Lies may be at risk of murder, but they certainly get it all when it comes to prime real estate.

Courtesy of HBO

Yet as Big Little Lies' first episode reveals, these houses hold greater significance than their function as interior design porn. When at home, the main characters are their most exposed selves. With a dash of close reading, we can tell that each at-home scene reveals some secret aspect of the characters' inner lives.

So, let the psychological snooping commence.

First, let's get the real real estate centerpiece out of the way. Gigantic windows, a landscaped patio, a man draped over a white outdoor couch. Renata Klein’s backside silhouetted against a purple sunset. Alone on the camera, surrounded by a house funded by her high-powered job, Renata admits to her husband that she’s disliked by the other women. Standing before the mountain view, Renata's solitary position corresponds with her isolation from the other women.

Moving down the block, Renata’s arch-nemesis, Madeline, occupies a house that’s decidedly more lived-in (and also mostly kitchen). From countertop clutter to stained dish towels, Madeline's house is a flurry of activity and personality.

Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/courtesy of HBO

At the dinner table (dinner island?), Madeline's two daughters sit like angsty ducklings in a row with her too-scruffy husband, Ed, played by Adam Scott. At the head of the table, Madeline is both in charge and set apart from her family members. Later on, she and Ed somehow manage to have a fight in front to the most beautiful ocean vista I’ve ever seen. I guess if one is steeped in beauty, one becomes immune to it. Madeline's scene at home shows that while the family fights, it's clear from the scattered belongings and intimate mess that a family lives there. The same can't be said for Renata's.

The show's final real estate centerpiece proves that not even the most photo shoot-worthy Monterey mansion is safe from threat.

We’re first introduced to Celeste’s house through outside narration. While in the interrogation room, other Monterey residents comment on the enviably affectionate marriage between Celeste and her husband, played by former True Blood vampire Alexander Skarsgård.

Courtesy of HBO

Cut to the tallest, trimmest, most photogenic couple on TV making out while their twin spawn bashfully look away. The scene is outdoors, light-soaked, and sublime. Ah, the perfection of a marriage from the outside looking in.

A few scenes later, we move indoors — and in that dark, carpeted room, we get a glimpse of the marriage that these interviewers don’t see. Instead of the sun, Celeste is illuminated by a computer screen. For a second time, her husband Perry sneaks up behind her. In this instance, however, there’s an element of snooping, distrust, and foreboding. Perry tells Celeste he doesn’t want his sons socializing with Ziggy after what happened in the schoolyard. When she moves, he leaps up, grabs her arm, and violently forbids it.

Courtesy of HBO

Later on, Celeste looks at her sons and husband playing in the far-off light. From this vantage point, Kidman looks at her family from a distance, the way the interviewees did. Yet ever since Perry’s violent streak manifested itself, it’s clear that Celeste recognizes this idyllic backyard scene to be nothing but a mirage.

These women derive pride and status from their homes and families. It’s no surprise, then, that so much is revealed through the way they function within their own spaces. It’s more than just good interior decoration. It’s characterization, too.

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