Say goodbye to awards show season. It's time to replace all those glitzy red carpets and frothy acceptance speeches with dark, gritty, sometimes terrifying, frequently stimulating pop culture badassery. We're talking about the return of The Americans, bleak dystopian Netflix films like The Discovery, murderous little girls (who we kind of idolize) from the X-Men universe, and a much-needed new true-crime podcast from the team behind Serial.
They say March comes in like a lion, right? Consider these offerings a roaring good time. See what we're obsessed with watching, reading, and listening to all month long.
Morgan Baila, Entertainment News Writer
Logan (in theaters March 3)
As a self-proclaimed comic-book hater, I was floored at how much I loved Logan. The X-Men spin-off takes place inside the same X-Men universe that many viewers have come to know and love, but it focuses solely on the aging and alcoholic Logan, a.k.a. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), and his relationship with the now bed-ridden Charles, a.k.a. Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart), in a post-apocalyptic world (ehm, it's 2029, which is kind of concerning). The film appears to have taken a cue from the wildly successful and overly violent Deadpool, and added a little Stranger Things twist by bringing in a pint-sized, ass-kicking little girl, Laura (Dafne Keen) who is my absolute new favorite superhero/mutant. I was able to catch the movie before it hit theaters and I highly recommend going to see it. But don't be afraid to cover your eyes during a few of the fight scenes — it gets pretty gruesome.
Justin Bieber's Birthday(March 1)
Justin Bieber turns 23 on March 1, which means I will spend the duration of the month wondering "What Would Justin Bieber Do?" and thus doing many, many reckless things that only young pop stars would get away with. I plan to: buy a monkey, bleach my hair, get a face tattoo, and delete my Instagram. Happy birthday, Bieber. Be safe.
Sesali Bowen, Entertainment Writer
Time: The Kalief Browder Story (premieres March 1 on Spike TV)
In 2010, a 16-year-old Black teenager was arrested for allegedly stealing a backpack. He was jailed on Rikers Island for three years while awaiting trial, during which time he was beaten, tortured, and kept in solitary confinement for long periods of time. The charges against him were ultimately dismissed. He repeatedly attempted suicide during and after his incarceration, most likely as a result of mental health issues caused by his unfair treatment within the criminal justice system. On June 6, 2015, he ended his life. Time: The Kalief Browder Story asks the most important question of all: Why did this happen? Jay-Z, who met Browder following his release, teamed up with filmmakers to executive produce this six-part series.
Nelly Furtado, Ride (out March 31)
Nelly Furtado is back with her first studio album in five years. My fondest memory of Furtado is still "Promiscuous Girl," but she rarely makes anything I hate. Her voice is unique, and she has an ear for music that aligns with what I like to hear. Here's to hoping that Ride brings back the "I'm Like a Bird" vibes from 2000.
Anne Cohen, Entertainment Editor
Harlots (premieres March 29 on Hulu)
This Hulu original series focuses on a group of 18th-century British prostitutes, so basically it was tailor-made for me. I'm a sucker for any period drama, but add in sex and intrigue — and a really good corset or two — and I'm sold.
Beauty And The Beast(in theaters March 17)
Let's be honest — this will be good even if it's bad. The live-action reimagining stars Emma Watson as a newly feminist Belle, Dan Stevens (a.k.a. Matthew from Downton Abbey) as a sardonic Beast, Ian McKellen as Cogsworth, and Ewan McGregor as Lumiere. Luke Evans will puff out his chest to play Gaston, while Josh Gad embraces servility as Le Fou. I can't wait to be their guest.
Erin Donnelly, Senior Entertainment Writer
SXSW(March 10 - 19)
Hitting up SXSW is a little different when your hometown is Austin and you're mostly praying that tourists avoid your favorite local hangs. Per usual, though, the festival has a ridiculous lineup of premieres, concerts, and speeches, including appearances from the Veep cast and the premiere of Ryan Gosling and Rooney Mara's new film, Song to Song, on tap.
All Grown Up By Jami Attenberg(available March 7)
I can't fly without a riveting book, which is why I'll be hitting up the airport bookshop for a copy of Jami Attenberg's new release. The story follows a thirtysomething woman who struggles to find her place as a single, child-free adult. There's a lot I can relate to there, and I trust that Attenberg's wisdom and wry sense of humor will steer clear of any boo-hoo-I'm-single cliches.
Maia Efrem, Associate Entertainment Editor
Conan Without Borders: Made In Mexico(premieres March 1 on TBS)
With all the negativity and vitriol directed at immigrants and refugees coming out of Donald Trump's administration, this Conan O'Brien special couldn't come at a better time. The series of episodes will feature an all-Mexican crew, audience, and guests. I hope Trump watches, and maybe even learns a thing or two about the nation he's so openly disparaging.
The Arrangement(premieres March 5 on E!)
I'm so excited about this! The show follows two Hollywood actors who enter into a marriage contract. The catch: One of them is part of a cult religion. I don't care what E! says, this show is definitely going to remind everyone of Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Nicole Kidman, and Scientology.
Rebecca Farley, Editorial Assistant
Twins: Happily Ever After?(premieres March 20 on Freeform)
I am both embarrassed and not embarrassed to say that I will actively consume anything these Bachelor twins do. My only hope for their spin-off show is that it's not as mind-numbingly boring as Ben & Lauren's short-lived series.
The Rules Do Not Apply By Ariel Levy (available March 14)
There's a special place in my heart and on my bookshelf for memoirs written by women. What's that? A woman? Talking about her neuroses? And how she didn't follow the rules? This one's written by longtime New Yorker staffer Ariel Levy, so here's what I'm expecting: incisive essays on life, love, and being lawless.
Naveen Kumar, Senior Entertainment Editor
The Americans(premieres March 7 on FX)
This FX series has been the best drama on TV since its 2013 premiere, despite having been overlooked year after year by major awards shows. Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell (who are together in real life and had a baby last year) are brilliant as Phillip and Elizabeth Jennings, two Russian spies living undercover in DC as a typical American family. With Cold War 2.0 upon us, it's hard to imagine a more fitting climate for the show's return. Plus, shit is about to get real as their daughter Paige learns more about her parents' double lives. I have literally been counting down the minutes.
Personal Shopper (in theaters March 10)
Being a personal shopper sounds very close to my own personal nightmare, so it feels fitting that this Kristen Stewart vehicle is unexpectedly a psychological thriller rather than a sister film to The Devil Wears Prada. The fact that it's French and set in Paris ups my faith that the film will be able to pull off its ghostly premise with style.
Kathryn Lindsay, Entertainment News Writer
The Last Laugh (in theaters March 3)
Comedy is pretty famously tragedy plus time, but The Last Laugh asks if there’s ever a limit to the scale of tragedy it’s acceptable to find humor in. While the documentary, which stars big comedic names like Sarah Silverman and Gilbert Gottfried, focuses on the Holocaust and discusses how comedians approach taboos, its timing is eerily prescient. In such a politically tumultuous time, how do we find humor — and should we?
S-Town podcast(sometime in March)
While we still don’t know when and what to expect with the third season of Serial, they’re making up for the wait with a new binge-worthy project. It’s called S-Town, and it's the first release from the new Serial Productions company. Unlike its parent podcast, S-Town will be released all in one go. Hosted by This American Life producer Brian Reed, S-Town takes a deep dive into the story of a murder in an Alabama town. It was originally meant for a This American Life segment, but the mystery became so intricate that it spun off into its own show. My commute listening just got a lot more entertaining.
Kaitlin Reilly, Entertainment News Writer
13 Reasons Why(premieres March 31 on Netflix)
I read Jay Asher's novel of the same name several years ago, and it always stuck with me. Today, the themes of sexual assault and bullying seem more important than ever. When I heard that the novel was getting the small-screen treatment, I was curious: How will the story play out over many episodes? Now that I know the series will expand upon the book's narrative into a full-blown teen drama, I'm itching to know if it will be as sensitive (and, frankly, disturbing) as the novel upon which it is based. Selena Gomez is producing the series, and seems to want to confront real teen issues in the drama. Sign me up.
The Belko Experiment (in theaters March 17)
I've never minded gore — the Saw franchise remains one of my favorites of the horror genre. The Belko Experiment is sort of like Saw meets The Purge with a simple premise: Will a group of coworkers kill a certain number of their peers in order to survive? My fingers are crossed that there's some thoughtful commentary underneath all of that bloodshed.
Molly Stout, Entertainment Director
The Discovery(premieres March 31 on Netflix)
I'm a sucker for anything remotely similar to Black Mirror. This film, which premiered at Sundance this year, imagines a not-so-distant future when the afterlife has been scientifically proven. Eerily, this leads to millions of suicides. Equally eerie is the presence of Rooney Mara, who could recite the phone book and still give me chills.
Amy Schumer: The Leather Special(premieres March 7 on Netflix)
Brand-new Amy Schumer jokes? Yes, please. Schumer has joined the elite comic ranks of Dave Chapelle and Louis C.K. in the new comedy heaven known as Netflix, and we are officially busy that night.
Carolyn L. Todd, Entertainment News Writer
Feud: Bette and Joan(premieres March 5 on FX)
Like The People v. O.J. Simpson, Ryan Murphy's juicy new anthology draws on a legendary real-life scandal — with a touch more glamour. Feud recreates the storied face-off between Hollywood icons Joan Crawford (Jessica Lange) and Bette Davis (Susan Sarandon), whose bitter rivalry came to a head on the set of their 1962 movie What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? Lange and Sarandon are riveting — and the themes of sexism and ageism are unnervingly relevant decades later.
Life (in theaters March 24)
This mysterious sci-fi horror flick, about six astronauts on the International Space Station who discover a rapidly evolving form of extraterrestrial life that ravaged Mars, is kind of a gamble; it's largely been kept under wraps. But with the writing team behind Deadpool, serious Alien vibes, and a starry cast — including Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, and Ryan Reynolds — I feel good about it.
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