After being caught on tape making misogynistic and harmful comments about women, Donald Trump released an apology on Friday stating that he's not a "perfect person" and regrets making the comments.
But as Twitter user Leah McElrath pointed out, there's a huge problem with his statement: It's uncomfortably reminiscent of comments often made by abusers after episodes of domestic violence.
In a series of tweets, McElrath makes eerie comparisons between Trump's words and the common manipulative tactics of abusers.
1. "I'm not perfect" = you're expectations I behave like a human being are unreasonable pic.twitter.com/Tzh26Bohwk
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
2. "I've never pretended to be someone I'm not" = you fell in love with me so it's your fault pic.twitter.com/ans0HG5bhV
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
3. "this more than decade old video" = it was a long time ago, why the fuss? you're so unreasonable. pic.twitter.com/wFQyTOAo7S
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
4. "these words do not reflect who I am" = the reality you just experienced didn't actually happen (gaslighting) pic.twitter.com/8nuT9d9Hl6
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
5. "I said it...I apologize" = get over it already, I *said* I'm sorry, you're being hysterical pic.twitter.com/mZ5dwpAnbd
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
6. "I've...my...me...I...I've...me...I...I..." = it's all about me; your needs, feelings, existence don't matter pic.twitter.com/ZfvcdRlXch
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
7. "grieving mothers...laid off workers..." = what are you complaining about? you have it good compared to others pic.twitter.com/HqgJ2zdWy9
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
8. "I pledge to be a better man tomorrow & will never let you down" = I'm sorry I hit you, it'll never happen again pic.twitter.com/8YHNpl7DMO
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
9. "Let's be honest" = you're not being honest pic.twitter.com/OIMVutn0mx
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
10. "We're living in the real world" = I'm sane and you're crazy pic.twitter.com/1FKhc8Ekq6
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
11. "This is nothing more than a distraction from the important issues" = see what you did?! this is all your fault! pic.twitter.com/QTZy0VIJK6
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
12. "we are less safe...Hillary..." = if you only held up your end of the relationship, I wouldn't have to hurt you pic.twitter.com/xr4zsK2b7w
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
13. "I've said some foolish things, but..." = you're being hysterical over nothing again, you're so crazy pic.twitter.com/n49aGoUJaI
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
14. "actually abused" = the abuse you experienced wasn't *really* abuse pic.twitter.com/rslMQ6sPm6
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
15. "We will discuss this more...See you...on Sunday" = I'm in control here, not you (with menacing implied threat) pic.twitter.com/MkpLTllNwy
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
Trump ends his statement of "apology" for bragging about sexually assaulting women w a promise to attack yet another woman more viciously.
โ ๐ (@leahmcelrath) October 8, 2016
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines domestic violence as "the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault," or other emotionally manipulative behavior by one intimate partner against another.
In particular, Trump's comments echo the ways in which abusers can manipulate victims following an episode of violence in order to gain or maintain power or control over them. This is commonly known as the "reconciliation" or "honeymoon" phase in the cycle of abuse, in which an abuser may apologize and promise the incident of violence will never happen again. The abuser may also deny that any abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims, or even blame the victim for causing the abuse โ all of which, as the tweets point out, sound uncomfortably like the tactics Trump has employed with his statement of apology.
While we certainly aren't implying that Trump is a domestic abuser, it's disturbing that these comparisons are being made in relation to his statement regarding an incident in which he essentially bragged about sexual assault. Needless to say, this behavior โ and the perpetuation of it โ is never okay, especially not from a Presidential hopeful.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, please call theNational Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224 for confidential support.
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